Milwaukee

We have to go back, but we're making it as brief as possible. There was a death in the family, so we're going to spend Wednesday driving to Milwaukee, Thursday doing funeral stuff, and Friday driving back to Knoxville. I'll probably spend more time driving than I actually will in Milwaukee.

I can't shake the feeling that I'm letting people down at work, even though I know everyone understands. I was supposed to work 35 hours this week. Everything was all planned out. And I'm an asshole because a man has died and these are the things I'm thinking about.

I had strange dreams last night. I don't remember all of them, but one of them involved a bathroom at my cousin's house. I went to use the bathroom, and when I got inside it, I couldn't find the light switch. There were about six different switches on the wall, but none of them turned the lights on. Finally I turned on the lights somehow, but when I looked at the toilet I saw that the tile and floor had been torn up around it, and there were plumbers and contractors standing around the toilet deciding how to proceed. Then the walls of the bathroom were no longer walls, they were trees in a forest, and people kept walking right into the bathroom like it was part of a nature hike. Ultimately I decided to wait.

In another dream I was with a group of people, and everyone was drinking and gathering around in a circle. Maybe there was a bonfire. I'm not sure. What I do remember is that there was a cold glass of beer sitting on the ground, waiting for me to drink it, but I never did, I just let it sit there on the ground.

I find more and more that my dreams involve me making the choice not to drink rather than actually drinking. I did feel drunk in the dream though, and I didn't like it.

It's going to be a surreal day. I have to work, and then I have to come home and pack, and make sure everything is in order before we leave tomorrow. None of that sounds surreal but I know it will feel that way.