Thursday, June 02, 2005

Smoking equals fun and excitement

Sometimes when I look through pictures of myself when I used to smoke I think about all the good times I had back then and it makes me want to start smoking again. Isn't that absurd? As if smoking will somehow recreate good times. The pictures don't show me constantly clearing my throat or the smell of my hair and my clothes back then. I never even cared at the time. I guess that's really what I miss...not caring. I know too much to go back to that now, and although I love learning, I always morn the loss of my ignorance. The main thing that keeps me from smoking again is having the freedom of not having to smoke. I never get frazzled from going too long without a cigarette. I never have to take smoke breaks at work. I never have to stop everything so that I can step outside for a minute. I never have to scrounge up change to see if I have enough for a pack.

Why is it that I miss smoking again?

I think I've been mistaking nostalgia for addiction.

3 Comments:

Blogger Morris said...

I too miss the days of carefree youth.

Morris
Ask Morris

June 02, 2005 9:03 PM  
Blogger Mizchelle said...

Hang in there! Kicking an addiction is hard, and I'm proud of you! :)

Just surfing by courtesy of Blog Explosion. Take care!

June 02, 2005 9:04 PM  
Blogger W. S. Cross said...

God, 25, you're the same age as my protagonist (actually, she's 24 when the novel opens). Scary.

June 03, 2005 1:23 PM  

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